The Burned Pharaoh
Steve "Beer Bong" Wilkowsky
24-year-old Communications junior Steven Wilkowsky has been at Purdue University for four years. Five if you count the year off after his academic probation during which Steve never actually left. He has managed to maintain a GPA just high enough to keep his enrollment at the university, a GPA that is only slightly higher than his blood alcohol content.
Two weeks after the horrific series of terrorist attacks being called the “Holy Light Bombings” by the media, short-term cult member and survivor Steven Wilkowsky emerged from psychological rehabilitation. Doctors theorize that the trauma of being ensnared by the cult has caused Wilkowsky to suppress large parts of his memory of recent events, and it is unlikely that he will face criminal charges. It is likely, however, that he will spend much of his life in intensive therapy.