The one thing that I still cannot become accustom to is failure. It leaves a bad taste behind. The cauldron is once again gone and Anders still lives. Why we keep thinking that the direct approach is best is beyond me but each time there we go without question. We should be smarter than this; I should be smarter than this. Once again, I have failed.
Recent events have caused me to start questioning my own judgement. The Gods blame me for what has transpired. Truth be told, I blame myself. I should have never let them take the cauldron in the first place, and I failed to recognize what need to be done to end this game. If I hadn’t been so careless, we would have the cauldron as we speak. I cannot even look at myself in the mirror. We forfeited the benefits that were gained by the politicians sacrifice. I need to get back to my roots, refocus my attention and my energies.
I thought I was so smart, figuring out where the cauldron was. I furthered that thought by figuring out how to get to the top of that damn building. A lot of good that did us.
I should have figured out what was going on. Because of me, a good but confused man almost lost his life. How could I have gotten this all mixed up. A noble sacrifice was the key, and I missed it. And because of that, we lost all we had fought for. I was so sure, I was so damn sure. Everyone else did what they were supposed it, it was my mistakes that allow those damn devils to waltz in and steal the cauldron. I over estimated myself, and I underestimated Anders. I will not make that mistake again.
And to make matters worse, I am fairly certain that I am being stalked by one of my students. I think a sabbatical is in order. I need to refocus on my work. It has been awhile since I have taken the time to build something. I need something, otherwise this new life will consume me and destroy whatever is was that I considered me. That is not something that I am willing to let go of yet. I fear however that i maybe too late.